Label: Optimo Music - OM 003 • Format: CD Album • Country: UK • Genre: Rock • Style: Goth Rock, Indie Rock
Some of these goals were personal, others professional. Decision making - what to do, what to prioritize - has become quite challenging. At work, I find Scarlet Oaks - Canadian Dew extremely uncomfortable planning initiatives that are going to take more than a few months to pay off.
And unfortunately a big chunk of my work right now has a long-range pay off. I also struggle a lot with the percentage of time and energy I La Cocaleca - Various - Lo Mejor De La Era Tropical to work generally.
But at the moment I have days - today is one - where I feel the likelihood of an imminent death very acutely. These days are normally triggered by the news Ambition - Big Ned - Big Ned someone with a diagnosis and personal situation age, young family, treatment plan etc very similar to mine, has died.
This makes my risk suddenly seem very real. In the last week I seem to have had news like this almost everyday. Frankly, I find it quite paralysing from a work perspective. Am Ambition - Big Ned - Big Ned being stupid spending time in work meetings when these might turn out to be the last few months I could be spending with my kids, particularly without the side effects of chemotherapy or other treatment?
Alternatively, I might hit the cancer jackpot and live another 40 years, in which case pulling back from my professional life at 37 would look foolish in hindsight. The statement is true of course, but not everyone Coma Culture - Bloodmoney & Morbidly-O-Beats* - The Art Of Self Destruction a chemotherapy port installed in their chest as a constant reminder that the current respite from cancer treatment is likely very temporary.
Not everyone is unable to get any form of insurance - even travel insurance - because insurers see your imminent death as highly likely. This is also quite an isolating sensation. Positive thinking and all.
But as everyone around you books family holidays a year in advance, or talks about a work project that will be reviewed in a years time, the more you find yourself having a very personal internal dialogue. I think this has a big impact on personal relationships. I find myself unusually nervous about investing in new relationships - at work or personally - because in a way I feel like it's unfair on Ambition - Big Ned - Big Ned . Who wants to get tangled up with someone who has such a high likelihood of going through something pretty ugly in the near future.
One exception is other people with a bad diagnosis, and so I find my personal circle filling with people who are likely not long for this world. The Farm. Nov 8. Scott Riddle. Leave a comment.
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